18th. Rejection is truly a re-direction.

So a friend of mine did asked me via Whatsapp,

"Weh, bagi nasihat sikit kat aku weh. Aku down la. Ada parents/students reject aku lagi".

Nak dijadikan cerita, sahabat aku nan seorang ni buat servis tutor.

Seperti biasalah, parents and students berhak memilih tutor yang 'serasi', tapi kadang-kadang ada jenis parents je beriya nak hire tutor, tapi anak-anaknya macam tak nak pun sebenarnya. 

Dilema.

So nak bagi sebab, parents/students ni cakap lah "Tak faham cikgu mengajar.." and so on sebagai sebab. Atau iya, mungkin tidak berapa serasi.

Aku dengan semangat setiakawan dan tak nak down-kan sahabat membalas,

"Takpe weh. Okay je kau nak down. Tapi lepas tu move on. 

Percayalah, rejection tu sebenarnya re-direction to something better".

Fuh. 

Walaupun aku memang [asalnya] percaya pada statement ini. 

Sebab iyalah, kita bukan sekali dua diuji. Allah bagi ujian untuk kita belajar dan belajar. Maklumlah manusia kan mudah lupa.

Dan of course, bila kita bagi nasihat tu, memang mudah.

Sebab kita tak berada kat kondisi penerima nasihat at that very moment.

Bukan salah kita pun.

Cuma, kita mungkin terlupa, nasihat tu sebenarnya terutamanya ditujukan kepada kita.

Sebab kita akan diuji dengan kata-kata kita. Allahu.

Nak jadi post blog, aku diuji dengan perkara yang sama, just recently.

It is not that I was not rejected ever since. Normal dah perasaan kena reject ni. That is why aku rasa aku layak untuk memberi nasihat lah.

Kononnya.

Not that until recently, Allah uji aku. Untuk aku belajar, biiznillah.

Aku bukan tak pernah kena reject selepas interview. 

Tapi kali ini memang berbekas sikit lah.

I might looked normal. 

Aku bergaul macam biasa dengan manusia yang dimaksudkan.

But deep in heart, Allah sahaja yang Maha Mengetahui.

Aku tak boleh nak cerita kat sesiapa. So being me, walaupun aku simpan dalam hati, makin terpancar pulak kat muka. Sampai ibu aku pun perasan aku lain macam.

Disebabkan this very interview, just recently, aku rasa loser gila.

Loser yang unexplained to anybody, but to 3 of my close friends.

Aku bukan nak feeling secured or validate those negative feelings.

Tapi aku fikir, biarlah aku rasa negatif jap. Supaya aku belajar something.

And aku memang belajar something [sangat] lah. Sampai aku stress dibuatnya :D

Rasa down aku tu menyebabkan aku terlupa akan rejection demi rejection yang aku lalui sebelum ni. 

Dahsyat cara Allah 'menegur'.

Aku makin faham dengan perjalanan rasa down dan kecewa ni. 

Dan juga bab rezeki.

Seriously bab rezeki memang percaturan Allah ni Maha Agung laa. Aku faham konsep tawakkal-nya burung mencari rezeki setiap hari. Tapi  lupa bila nak apply kat diri sendiri.

Tiba-tiba aku teringat, aku pernah cakap kat diri aku, walaupun kita dah suap makanan kat mulut, tapi kalau ditakdirkan Allah takde rezeki waktu tu, jatuh dan tumpahlah segala makanan tu.

Serius beb. Aku tak tipu.

Samalah bab interview kerja pun. 

Kalau kita rasa kita jawab bapak cincai segala soalan, tapi kalau memang rezeki kita, memang tak ke mana lah.

Bukanlah aku suruh korang jangan prepare apa-apa sebelum interview; tidak.

Maksud aku, redha je lah dengan ketentuanNya.

Serius, aku takdelah konfiden sangat. Tapi mungkin Allah nak 'ajar' bab reliance ni kan, so dia fail kan aku at that very interview.

Walaupun aku tak faham kenapa aku tak dapat position tu, apart from takde rezeki.

Sebenarnya sebab memang takde rezeki la kot kan.

But life works miraculously.

Unexplain weh.

And most importantly, kena BEAR [bukan bare] in mind, ada lebih baik untuk kita. Allah nak bagi yang lebih baik. Untuk kita.

Bukan untuk orang lain.

Untuk kita.

Ye weh, kena husnu zhon dengan Allah.

Mungkin diri ini kurang husnu zhon. Allahu.

Aku nak share juga satu cerita. 

Yang aku teringat kan bila perasaan tengah berapi-api kena reject kan almaklumlah.

Ada sekali tu, lab partner aku dapat publish paper sekaligus present kat 1 conference ni. 

International pulak tu [walaupun buat kat Malaysia].

Yang bestnya, aku buat paper sama dengan dia. And Supervisor aku memang proofread baik punya paper ni.

Finally, aku punya kena reject.

And hers was accepted and published and she managed to present in our second semester of study. 

Waktu dapat email, aku menangis kot.

Sebab rasa tak dapat terima komen editor and examiner. Just because aku buat pasal, kurma?

Seriously. Wallahi aku nangis dan down jugaklah.

Tapi aku pujuk jugak hati aku, SV aku pun pujuk jugak.

Dia kata insyaAllah ada rezeki lain. And dia pastikan akan publish juga paper aku nanti.

Nak dijadikan cerita, journal yang partner aku publish tu blacklisted.

And next 10 months, aku dapat present kat international conference jugak, alhasil aku punya result yang aku analyze sendiri [tapi SV aku buatkan abstract lol].

Kat Sabah lagi. Dan paper aku published kat journal dalam Nutraceutical field.

See? Allah's plan is miraculously works in mystery ways!

Alhamdulillah for everything

Penat aku nak hadam hakikat yang dah pernah terjadi.

And ini adalah 1, antara banyak lagi yang terjadi dalam hidup aku nak masuk 29 tahun ni

Haha perempuan sangat aku ni. 

Bila fikir balik whatever la perasaan sementara aku ni kan.

Tapi yelah, aku kena validate perasaan ni. Supaya aku tahu aku ni manusia.

Dan apa yang penting, apa yang aku nak buat. Aku kena buat.

Bukan sedih meratap hiba je.

Doakan aku dapat kumpul kekuatan untuk terus husnu zhon.

Husnu zhon dengan Allah. Dengan manusia. Dengan qadar yang Allah tuliskan.

Here are some tidbits shared by my awesome friends on instagram;

11th. Forever dong saeng.

So I accompanied my (not-so) little brother to his second interview last Friday.

It was at Starbucks. And my forever dream job; to be a barista.

All went well. The interviewer looked kind and treated my brother like a man-to-man talk. Gittew.

I drove him to the interview, and rehearsed with him all the way there.
So I asked him, "Kalau dia tanya berapa lama boleh commit, Ariff nak jawab apa?"

My brother replied, while his hands busied swiping his hair, "Nanti Ariff jawab, setahun, saya nak kerja and cari kumpul duit dulu tahun ni. Tahun depan baru nak sambung belajar". 

I startled to his answer. 

It is not that I object his answer, but it really made me startled somehow. 

I never expect his answer before. I thought he will made it sugar-coated white lie. But he insisted. 

So now I realized that my youngest brother has grown up. 



And of course I reflect myself over and over, over the coffee while waiting for him doing his interview. 

Am I a good sister all these while?
Have I been a good example to him?

Dong-saeng: little brother/sister

24th. Of seeking and finally letting go.

54 days of job seeking.

At this stage, I found it easy to give up everything and just finish my thesis while do nothing. 

Now I only realize how my other fellow friends have been experiencing previously. While received my never-ending Whatsapp messages, asking to hang in there, keep on searching and seeking, do not be so choosy ever - whatever. Sigh. 

I know these moments are just a test; like any other 'test' given by Allah for me to upgrade myself. Maybe Allah want me to feel and experience what my fellow good friends have felt - the least I can tell right now. But in the bigger picture, I know Allah SWT want to give me something better - but I am yet to figure out what and when. 

How; probably.

Of course, while being unemployed, I found other things that I might overlooked quite sometimes. I rather would not rant on this. The best part is I get to help my mother with other chores, and accompanying her, here and there. 

I was once got a chance to go for interview as an Research Officer. There in USM, Penang.
Honestly, I am not afraid to go far from my family. I know someone whom I can rely on there in Penang (she might read this :P). But something really caught me, of looking after my family. And of course the field - bioprocess - which I need to learn all over again. 

So I turn down that one.

And continue searching for other jobs. This morning I got another offer, the same one who called me previously, asking to be a PA/Secretary. But because of the workplace in Shah Alam, I need to turn down this one too. Though I knew it best that I am in need of a job at the moment, but for some circumstances, I rejected.

That, made me thinking, of the purpose of seeking just to finally letting go.

You know, it's like you are meeting a kind and soleh guy, who got what it takes to be a good husband. But, for some reason, deep down you just 'got the sign' that he is not for you. Then you letting him go, which raised questions by people surrounds you. And you just can't explain them.

Okay I over-rant it. Actually my friend just experienced this. So I put it here just in case.

But it's true.
Now I truly, it's never because we are choosy or what. 
It's just because of the timing. 

And we haven't settle for any chance, be it job or partner, just yet.

I know it's very common and cliche to write this over. Chanting everywhere in my posts. 
But it's so true. I hope 'future' Anis will be aware of this.

To be more grateful when hardships come. Think again of other people who are yet to get any job (I hate it when people call them jobless). 

For that, I am not holding any grudge to let go my previous position. I hope its the best for me and them - for anyone who might want to ask this question to me. 

In other sense, I feel unattached to anything. 
Because, that is what we need to hold firm with. And what this world needs to be understood.

Nothing will be remained.
Nothing is guaranteed.

Chin up, Anis.

hibernate

23 days left.
And I feel (alhamdulillah) normal.

I have been longing  of this feeling. Stay at home, doing chores without another handphone to entertain. No more update request, ad hoc instructions which made me anxious, every time. No more taking calls from anonymous.

Staying home, just being myself. Read books, never ending journals which I temporary stuck to write. It's okay since myself is adapting with the changes.

And as they may say, "Changes is needed to transform".

While 'transforming', I feel like adjusting to people.
And I now can appreciate the now moment.

I was ever rushed for the previous 12 months.
In need of rush to this, that, juggling with study.

And now when I have little to do, I can watch myself. Listen to myself.
Oh this feeling.

I now this is temporary.

I even pray to Allah that these moments are temporary.

But make them meaningful one :)

Anis

People said it too, I guess. Look closely to the one who never cheers at your winning.

Merry go round

"Tasneem, tongue depressor ni untuk apa eh? Utk check ada tonsil ke tak eh?" tanyaku pada Tasneem, pada hari terakhir bertugas. Hari Jumaat. Sambil memegang kotak tongue depressor untuk disusun. Mengemas sedikit pejabat untuk 'diwariskan' kepada Tasneem kelak :)

"Haah. Untuk check gag reflex jugak kalau orang tu strok ke..." 

"...oh lepas tu nak check kalau tak boleh telan kena guna nasogastric tube?" celah aku sebelum Tasneem menghabiskan jawapan.

"Yezza..." jawab Tasneem sambil melipat kotak.

Aku kagum sekejap.

Bersyukur-nya ya Allah. Aku masih mampu menelan makanan lagi sebab baru makan pisang goreng haha oopps.

Nikmatnya makan, mengunyah, menelan dengan aman dan mudahnya.

Bayangkan kalau tidak mampu menelan (Selalunya akibat strok), terpaksa memasang nasogastric tube (tiub makanan yang dipasang dari hidung ke bahagian perut). Seksanya satu hal.

Lepas tu hanya mampu makanan liquid sahaja. Allah. 

***

Sedang memandu, mata tertancap pada sebatang tubuh manusia di sisi jalan.

Pemandangan biasa setiap kali melalui kawasan bukit di kawasan rumah.

Ada seorang manusia yang mungkin kurang waras. Dan hampir setiap hari aku akan terpandang dia.

Membuatkan aku terfikir, dia yang mungkin 'kurang waras', boleh sahaja hidup di dunia ini. 

Walaupun serba tiada - tiada rumah, tiada keluarga, apatah lagi pekerjaan. Allah sudah 'mencukupkan' rezekinya setiap hari.

Bukti? Dia masih hidup hingga hari ini. Walaupun penampilan sangat kusut masai tidak terjaga. Hanya tidur di pondok menunggu bas. Tapi aku pernah ternampak ada orang menghulurkan bekas makanan kepada dia.

Aku lalu terfikir, apa yang aku risaukan sangat dengan kehidupan ini?

Semuanya sudah diatur Tuhan. Aku hanya perlu positif dan terus berusaha.

Lebih menginsafkan, kita mungkin memandang manusia sepertinya - kurang.

Tapi sedarkah kita (aku), dosanya diangkat Allah. 

Orang yang tidak waras, dosa mereka terhapus. Kita?

Nangis.

Banyaknya pengajaran dari seorang yang kurang. Ironi kan kehidupan?

***

Most of the time, its the best time like this, the humbling moment like this, that makes me reflect the most.

The time where I am jobless, counting days to write, submit my thesis and finally viva voce.

Its the best of time to reflect myself. I shall never forget this.

Hopefully I can be a person of syukur. Gratitude. Always.

In moment like this, I truly believe that everything shall pass. Good moments, bad ones. Everything will pass.

You went through a thunderstorm, just to get to see rainbows. 

Positive words, yeah.

May Allah bless us always, and show us the straight path back to Him.

 Anis
03122018

***

My current favorite tune. Thanks to Adik.

This song, as the title implies, really reflect life as a whole.

Enjoy! :)

Merry Go Round of Life by Joe Hisaishi

November yang Mendewasakan.

Bismillah.

Kekok rasa menaip di laman sendiri.

Seperti biasa, blog ini disinggah usai 'menyapa' dan 'berjalan' ke blog blog lainnya. 

My Chrome was re-installed. Tak sangka, segala memori dan tab tab yang pernah menemani zaman dahulu kala masih disimpan rapi :') Thanks Chrome for reserving all memoirs here.

Sambil melihat kalendar di sudut meja di USIM, aku bercakap pada HF, "Cepat gila November ni kan?".

"Ha'ah wei. Cepat gila" kata HF dengan loghat Utagha yang pekat.

Entahlah. Hujung tahun memang selalunya begitu. Bagai tak sabar-sabar nak melangkah ke tahun yang baru. November-DIsember dirasakan masa paling cepat berjalan. Bagai tak terkejar tanah untuk dipijak!

Bulan ini juga bulan untuk memuhasabah untuk aku sendiri.

Apa yang telah aku lakukan in the last 11 months. Baik-kah? Improve-kah? 

Atau masih di takuk lama.

Hujung bulan ini juga menyaksikan aku bakal berhenti bekerja dengan majikan-ku sekarang.

Tuhan sahaja yang Mengetahui perasaan bercampur baur sewaktu ingin menekan butang Send.

Benar, kalau diingatkan kebaikan, kesabaran, dan keluar-biasaan mereka sebagai hamba Allah yang pernah melintasi dan mewarnai kehidupan aku, pastinya aku takkan mengirim email ini. Tapi asbab masa depan dan perjalanan kehidupan, sunnatullah-Nya, mudahnya aku menekan butang Send dengan seribu satu perasaan.

Bekerja dengan mereka, pastilah aku kenang sampai bila-bila!

Sungguh, bila dikenangkan pula, side, atau bahagian aku sebagai seorang pelajar pascasiswazah, sebagai anak perempuan kepada ibu dan ayah, aku juga tak mampu untuk meneruskan khidmat aku dengan mereka.

Sungguh, mereka layak untuk mendapatkan pekerja yang lebih komited dan fokus daripada aku.

Aku doakan.

Di suatu bahagian dan sisi yang lain, aku juga seperti meninggalkan chapter atau bab terkini, dan menyusun langkah untuk babak seterusnya.

One of many events I went as rep, which I will never get the chance to go. At all. If not because of the current employer.

Sesi Perkaderan with Ustaz Zulramli. I managed to join, because of current employer too. Oh what a coincidence, tajuknya juga perihal dakwah.  

Entahlah, aku sedikit mixed feelings menghabiskan saki baki November, dan juga 2018.
Bulan ini juga mengajarkan aku, bahawa masa depan itu sangatlah abstrak.

Kita tidak akan sekali-kali mengjangka, walaupun sudah merancang pelbagai perkara.

Juga bulan November mengajar aku, apa sahaja yang membezakan manusia dan peluang peluang di depan mata. 

Dia punya ijazah? Kita juga punya ijazah.
Dia punya Master. Kita juga.
Dia punya pengalaman. Apa kurangnya kita?

Lalu apa yang membezakan kita sebenarnya?

Berbaliklah kepada Tuhan yang Mencipta. 
Sungguh rezeki sudah tertulis, cuma tidak diberikan gambaran, bagaimana dan bila.

Kita yang cuma hamba, hanya mampu meminta lewat doa.
Dan meminta semahunya.

Yes, itulah yang membezakan kita.




Anis
22112018
1646pm

You are important. Yes, you!

Picture circa 2013. I miss these important people in my life.

You are important.

Yes, you.

I can't hardly remember the last time I tell somebody that she or he, is important.

Too bad. Yes that was my bad. Suddenly I felt that I under appreciate people surrounds me which is not good at all.

It is easy to say "thank you" as an appreciation.

But, "you are important"? It takes the gut to say that even on Whatsapp. What more out loud.

.....

Faizah mengambil sachet Gaviscon dari begnya.

Aku yang ternampak, hanya memerhati aksinya. Dibuka zip perlahan, lalu mengambil dan mengoyakkan sachet berkenaan ke dalam mulut.

Hanis dan Ummu masih khusyuk menghabiskan dinner masing-masing.

"Kenapa Faizah makan Gaviscon?" tanyaku memecah sunyi. Hanis dan Ummu yang tadinya khusyuk makan, mula memandang ke arah Faizah.

Gaviscon bukanlah sejenis supplement. Tapi ubat untuk meredakan ketidakselesaan perut.

"Entahlah. Saya rasa macam angin je perut ni. Tak sedap perut" jawab Faizah selamba, cuba menghabiskan saki baki ubat berasa payau itu.

Aku sedikit pelik. 

Faizah yang aku kenali bukanlah seorang yang fast eater. 

Dia jenis orang yang makan sangat cermat dan perlahan. Agak susah untuk manusia sepertinya menghadapi gangguan perut. 

"Mungkin Faizah stress kot" ujar Hanis mencelah, sambil tangannya menguis meatball.

"Agaknya kot. Stress. Mungkin sebab saya tak happy".

Pernyataan Faizah disambut dengan diam. Sunyi.

IKEA yang riuh dengan manusia terasa sunyi seketika. At least, di meja makan kami.

Tak semena aku memandang Ummu di bahagian kiriku. 

Ummu hanya merenung wajah Faizah dihadapannya. Cuba menebak kata kata Faizah dari jauh.

Ummu dan Faizah adalah housemates.

Usai solat Maghrib, Faizah datang menghampiri aku yang bersiap untuk keluar dari musolla. Aku membetulkan tempat duduk sambil melihat ke arah Ummu yang masih bersolat.

"Sebenarnya, saya memang tak happy pun kak" tiba-tiba Faizah memberitahu.

Aku berkerut tanda terkejut dan cuba menghadam kata-katanya kali ini.

"Kenapa Faizah tak happy?" aku mula tanya soalan yang tak patut ditanya. Cuak sebenarnya.

"Entahlah. Sebenarnya bila kat kampus je rasa macam ni. Bila kat rumah, okay je. Saya dah bagitau mak saya dah", jawab Faizah seolah-olah tidak menjawab soalan.

"Habis mak awak kata apa?" Aku bertanya kembali, tak puas hati dengan jawapan tadi. Kali ini, aku serius ingin tahu apa jawapan emak Faizah, kerana emaknya seorang ahli psikologis.

"Emak kata nak buat macam mana. Kalau rumah dekat, bolehlah nak berulang alik (tak payah tinggal di kampus)", jawab Faizah selamba. Aku tahu dia juga tak puas hati dengan jawapan itu.

Fikiranku mula mencari kata-kata yang sesuai untuk dilontarkan semula.

I tried my best not to listen to reply.

Tapi aku faham benar, Faizah perlukan ayat yang soothing, at least.

"Hmm.. happy tu bermula dari dalam. Kita yang kawal dia", aku tahu ayat ini tidak sesuai, tapi aku bingung and blur at that moment.

"Tu la. Memang salah saya pun. Saya ni, susah nak buat kawan kot", jawab Faizah pendek.

"Bukan apa. Saya ni macam tak wujud dalam rumah tu. Kalau Ummu tak balik lagi, semua orang cari. Cuba kalau saya takde, takde siapa hairan pun", jawab Faizah, meluahkan.

Ok. Dah dapat sebab dan punca.

Belum sempat aku menyambung, Ummu datang ke arah kami.

Kami bingkas bangun dan mula menyusun jalan untuk keluar musolla.

.......

Aku belajar sesuatu, hari itu.

Belajar dari Faizah (bukan nama sebenar), bahawa kita mungkin terlepas pandang manusia yang paling dekat dengan kita, tapi hakikatnya berasa 'jauh' dari kita.

Aku cuba muhasabah diri aku sendiri. Did I do something wrong to anyone?

Bukanlah untuk bersikap defensif. Cuma sudahkah kita menjadi orang yang menghargai manusia di sekeliling kita?

Subhanallah. Dalam pada kita serabut, kalut dan tenggelam dengan kesibukan hidup, kita mungkin terlupa utk menunaikan hak dan tanggungjawab sebagai seorang sahabat, atau rakan serumah/sebilik..

Betapa kita disibukkan, sehingga hal-hal kecil di mata kita ini, menjadi semakin kecil dan kita mungkin tak nampak..

Memang.. Memang aku bercadang utk berjumpa dengan Faizah secara berdua. 

Dan mungkin bersama Ummu juga.

Dan yang aku pelajari lagi, sifat manusia yang inginkan dirinya berasa penting buat orang lain.

Pernah ke terlintas di fikiran, masalah masalah sosial yang berlaku banyaknya kerana mereka dahagakan perhatian.

Dan lupakah kita, bahawasanya survival dalam kehidupan itu bermula dari diri kita untuk menjadi orang yang positif dan relevan setiap masa dan ketika?

Moga kita sentiasa menjadi orang yang relevan dalam masyarakat. Dan bermanfaat untuk manusia.

Jika tiba waktu aku bertemu dengan Faizah, akan aku pesankan kalimat itu.

"Yes, Faizah. You are important".

Doakan aku diilhamkan Allah kata kata yang baik untuk menguatkan Faizah.

Anis

2300hrs

23082018

Character.

Bismillah.

I am sort of waiting for every Friday.
Not only because it is the day of the week cemtu kan.
But because of this fair, lovely reminder I got from my official email thread.

My boss will put up with reminder every Friday.
Though his reminder are deep ones, but I wait for them every week.
Then I will screenshot them, and keep nicely in my phone.

You know when we reach this age (30-ish, but not yet 28), how I like my days to be in slow motion, less screen, no more hangout in malls, common sense everywhere.
I feel old, yes, but more to wise.
I read this one post in FB the other day, where he (I didn't know him, someone in FB) talked about blue tick. Yes, blue tick je pun.
I think we all has our own preference on it, no big deal.
But I like the way he wrote about how notifications has influence in our life.

He wrote that "communication shouldn't be in a rush". It has to be done when both parties are available and ready to communicate.
Serius ah.

I totally agree to him.
Why bother replying messages/Whatsapp when the traffic is red?
No conversation is needed when in rush.

And that defines our character.

You know I need to have another brilliant post just on character itself.
I hope you can digest this piece of reminder from my boss last week.

I hope days treat you well.

Till then.
Salams. 

0118. What's Next?

Bismillah.

We have entered 2018 with full solace and gratitude, alhamdulillah.
I don't know how to describe this, but somehow, I got to moved on from 2017 a bit easier than years before. You know sometimes we got this things that made us holding back to the past, right?

But not for 2017.

I did not sure know why. It is not that 2017 has been wrong and faulty or sad or what.
Probably it is a sign of me-ageing :D
What I can say is, I am looking forward to 2018. I am sort of afraid, but hopeful as well.
A little bit of "necessary" insecure, but looking forward and try to feel content with myself too.

You know that mixed-feelings kinda things ;)

All in all, I hope 2018 (and yes 1439H) will brings us closer to Allah swt.

Entering 28 this year, I find that, Allah gives me MORE of His Signs through people I met.

Just like yesterday. Yes, one of the day that I am looking forward in this month too.
I was too unnerving to meet all Excos and Mr Pres for my first time (after working for a month. Just lol). It was the first meeting for this year too. So before the meeting, there was a BBQ and appreciation gathering for the volunteers. This is another unnerving event where I need to join in the crowd where 99.1% of them I never met before.

Then I said to myself, You got to do this Anis. More of this kinda events if you get married in the future, remember that! 

Then I think again, I never had problem to mingle around, righttt?

Haha then I overcome that.
Yes, I am easy to mingle around with people. 

Alhamdulillah all went well. I got to know some of them so pat on my back :)

Then came the meeting session.
It was simpler and enjoyable than I thought :D

Honestly, they are such a cheerful person each of them. Wallahi!
Everyone, including the Mr Pres, is a positive person. 

Guess what most of them are specialist with their own background, capabilities and uniqueness. 
They got their own cliques, crowd and circle they are holding in to.
But to the association, they blast it all. 
They get to use whatever mean they can. Reach out DG of every department, hospitals, whatnot.

MasyaAllah. I just admire these people!

I have met some of the excos, except for another some and of course, Mr Pres.
Before the meeting, when I was busy tapau-ing for my siblings (lol), Mr Pres came near me and greet, "Whats your name?". Maybe because I looked unfamiliar.

"Anis". I replied and smiled back.

"Oh, so you are Anis. I am J" he replied with his name. Without that Dr in front.  

And as Ruby told me before, he was a kind and humble man. So I agreed now.
Although he is one of the specialist in KPJ hospital, he dressed and bring himself humbly masyaAllah. His words are wise, and calm and most importantly, he is positive all the way.

I know its too much. But yes Allah is showing me some of His Signs here. Everywhere.

I learn so much from the people I met. This is probably another lesson to learn.

Not only the Mr Pres, but the other excos too. Too much words to describe.
For one second in my life, I felt welcomed into the team.

And I hope I can be gratitude for the rest of my life too. InsyaAllah.


  

1112. Hiking at 27.

Bismillah.

It was an achievement, for me. Alhamdulillah.

Entah, I love to try new things. But not hiking, until today.
It was a not-so-last-minute plan, with my USIM colleagues. Just because we didn't want to hike on weekends, so we planned for today, the public holiday in Selangor.

The last time I went on hiking was when ......
Back in UIA kot. Bapak lama.

The start of all...

It was quite tricky to find the place though it is located at the heart of PJ. I think Waze is not accurate to find this place. Just search "Jalan Telok" and you will find strands of cars parked there. And there is also a temple nearby. I don't know its name. But obviously I did not followed the one that suggested nearby La Salle School. Nope.

I did my mental preparation since yesterday. I am excited to try but scared juga at the same time. Because it involves my stamina so... yeah.. I did NOT exercise nor jogging quite sometimes now so it scares me. 

The verdict?

It was tiring *crying laugh emoji* but fun and feeling accomplished for a day! :D Biasalah that was the feel-good feeling after challenging ourselves. And that feeling is the best (I must say) :)

Tiring sangat, and I feel fat throughout the journey. 
I envied (good one) the uncles, aunties who managed to end the hiking with me. Wallahi, they are awesome!

And helpful too. MasyaAllah!

Guess what, (Almost) everyone who passed us on the trail smile and said "Morning!" or "Hello!" everytime!

Best gila kan feeling tu?

Rasa malu as Muslims kalau tak buat macam tu. Kita apatah lagi, disunatkan memberi salam dan senyuman. Itu pun kita kedekut nak buat kan? *sad emoji*

Another point, I came to learn that people who exercise, play sports, they are more positive. Selain daripada personaliti dan diri dorang yang memang dah positif tu kan.. But I think exercise plays role too.

Terus rasa semangat (walaupun penat) today. On our way back, we started to give smile and greet "Morning!" to everyone we passed by. Cewah. Bukan nak membangga diri, sometimes kena prektis terus baru benda tu jadi habit.

Try la yourselves.

Oh about the hiking. It was fun. I am so gonna repeat it someday. Perhaps with my close friends yang berani to take up the challenge.

BUT,

I need to shed fats juga at the moment *crying* *laughing* 
Kalau tak memang susah nak panjat, nafas berbunyi and berat gila macam bawak luggage banyak!!! T______T 

Why not kan. Walaupung dah ageing. ya Allah I am entering 28 next year.


Anis
Age is just a number.